Ruth is so over fustian loggorhea.

2008-12-30T22:54:00.003+08:00

The ears are feeding on O'Death - Fire on Peshtigo

goodbye ferret calendar

goodbye completed to-do lists on post-its all over my room

goodbye scallywag

goodbye italian leather organiser i never fully utilised

goodbye extensive travelling

goodbye slightly more excusable immaturity

-

after reading Time's top ten lists of 2008, i realise now how much i truly love lists. maybe i'll make up some of my own right now. yes i'm making this blog a little bit more fashionable, but hopefully as unattractive as it has ever been.

Ruth's attempt at small comprehensive lists of 2008:

top 5 regrettable movies i actually paid to watch

5. high school musical 3 - watched this in cape town with candice, dine, and landi. seriously.. the things friends do for each other
4. the hottie and the nottie - i rented this for a dollar... and i don't know what i was thinking. i guess i wasn't.
3. vantage point - downloaded it. it cost money because it required electricity. it had this one particular pretentious american scene in it. enough said
2. mamma mia! - watched this on a plane... weirdest and most pervy musical meant for tweens?
1. the x-files: i want to believe - oh, my soul. a movie explicitly about Romans 1:27

top 5 raddest movies i watched

5. 27 dresses
4. penelope
3. ip man
2. the dark knight
1. iron man

top 10 loveliest music i found
10. international superheroes of hardcore - takin it ova
9. ghost mice/defiance, ohio split
8. the dø - a mouthful
7. anathallo - canopy glow
6. tv on the radio - dear science
5. the mae shi - hlllyh
4. the gaslight anthem - everything!
3. fleet foxes - s/t
2. o'death - broken hymns, limbs and skin and head home
1. noah & the whale - s/t

top 6 books i purchased
6. cambridge advanced learner's dictionary
5. ethics + the cost of discipleship - dietrich bonhoeffer
4. the shock doctrine - naomi klein
3. crazy love - francis chan
2. Jesus wants to save christians - rob bell and don golden
1. Jesus for president - shane claiborne and chris haw

top 6 most signficant occasions
6. realising i have the ability to write little bits of music
5. the tesol diploma - distinction, baybeh!
4. scallywag's peaceful departure
3. meeting a bajillion people in 6 different countries
2. dinner in indonesia after the ltt
1. south africa

okay i'm out of lists. bye!

2008-08-11T20:30:00.003+08:00

The ears are feeding on Jaguar Love - Videotape Seascape

i am not a
marxist/leninist/communist/
socialist/christian communist/
anarchic communist/egalitarian/
utilitarian/fascist/feminist/
conservative/nationalist/
libertarian/capitalist/democrat/
republican/blah blah blah

i'm thinking mostly about the state of being a christian. christianness. reading about christian communists and their argument that Jesus and the early church practiced that is kind of funny, because i wonder why we contribute truth we may find in political systems to man-made labels (i'm not always against labels, but i don't know how else to word what i'm thinking) as proof of being more correct than the opposition, and because all truth belongs to God and we - as christians - forget where it stems from and instead ascribe the truth to a man-made thought of perfection or idealism?

aaaauugghh i'm not even going to bother editing what i just wrote, i'm not sure why i'm trying to explain what i'm trying to say:

what happened to christianity as it is supposed to be? a living, breathing body of Jesus that does the perfect will of the Father by the power of his Spirit, that encompasses every single aspect of life (socially, economically, etc) because it is where the kingdom of God is?

why is it that christian anarchism - which is the idea and truth that God is God and He is the ONLY ruler and the ONLY King and ONLY authority over all, and any law/political system not in line with that is NOT of God - isn't just known as christianity? when did christianity make you take sides politically? i feel like i'm saying a dirty word - politics. eeee. mostly because it's so overused in bigblogland, which is mostly dominated by the lovely americans, and, you know, i'm not expecting many people to read this anyway - but if you happen to be reading this and have something to say... i'm not looking for an argument here. i'm just frustrated at the mess we have all made.

have we forgotten or not known that the word christian isn't the safest identity to take on, because of how insanely radical it is?

i know everything i just wrote has been said before (since there is nothing new under the sun), but i'm writing this mostly to remind myself of what i believe in.

oh my head hurts

2008-08-09T02:50:00.002+08:00

The ears are feeding on Tom Petty - I Won't Back Down

HEART neck knuckle wrist 17 days ehehhehe

what is punc tu a tion

2008-08-03T23:21:00.004+08:00

The ears are feeding on The Faint - The Geeks Were Right

i can't really be bothered to write about globalisation/economics/theology/ridiculous events that occur very frequently in my life/the state of the world (is the world in any state at all? what sort of conditions are required to determine a particular state of an entity? who judges so that there may then be a state?)/apple juice, or care as much as i used to five years ago when blogger.com landed on our internet explorer panels (was mozilla around then?) (i love parentheses) (they are so useful), outside of a conversation in a little white box that, once published, is flashed for all in the intorweb world to see.

the funny thing about irony and human beings is that i'm doing just that right now, perhaps in the secret hope that maybe, if i threw a few heavy words (globalisation) (economics) (america) (apocalypse) (pre-destination) around, people with ip addresses for faces would acknowledge me as one with at least an ounce of intellect and come back to this page expecting more, hence making the little sitemeter counter at the bottom of this page tick and ultimately give me the invisible ego stroke and utmost numerical assurance that i am READ.

this farcical medium is my pixellated words on your pixellated screen! DOMINATING YOUR PIXELLATED SCREEN! unless you are one of those ninjacore nuts who really dig technology and have screens that are 900000000 pixels per mm (or however the flip pixels work).

aaanyway. the new faint album has a very fat flat bass line going on in every song and it brings to mind a strangely endearing image of a tangle of tapeworms.

2008-07-12T00:33:00.004+08:00

The ears are feeding on Street Dogs - Tale of Mass Deception

i am so grammarisationally challenged right now

i/am/so/grammar/is/ation/al/ly/challenge/d/right/now = 12 morphemes

-

cambridge, oxford, and i hang out every day. they ridicule me and remind me that:

1. i still can't tell the difference between gerunds and infinitives
2. minimal pairs are such a pain and are out to get me
3. the word "grammarisationally" does not exist

but it's okay. my few rebuttals include my indignant expertise in drawing tree diagrams and identifying words from phonetic symbols. and that Jesus still loves me.

2008-04-11T01:17:00.003+08:00

The ears are feeding on Thrice - The Lion and The Wolf

it
has
been
a
while

2007-10-01T16:55:00.000+08:00

The ears are feeding on William Fitzsimmons - When I Come Home/Funeral Dress

When Israel went out from Egypt,
the house of Jacob from a people of strange language,
Judah became His sanctuary,
Israel His dominion.

The sea looked and fled;
Jordan turned back.
The mountains skipped like rams,
the hills like lambs.

What ails you, O sea, that you flee?
O Jordan, that you turn back?
O mountains, that you skip like rams?
O hills, like lambs?

Tremble, O earth, at the presence of the Lord,
at the presence of the God of Jacob,
who turns the rock into a pool of water,
the flint into a spring of water.

2007-09-05T02:10:00.001+08:00

The ears are forever feeding on mewithoutYou. FOREVER.

2007-07-21T23:16:00.000+08:00

The ears are feeding on mewithoutYou - January 1979

Birthday parties put me and numerals in perspective:

I am going to be 21 in 2 years' time
I am going to be half a century young in 31 years' time
I am going to be dead/more alive than ever in n years' time

I think of statistical life expectancies, and how foolish it is to count my days that way!

I wonder how I am going to die,
I wonder how I am going to live:

This world, I cry, is not my place. I seek a place in heaven!

And yet there is so much to look forward to, details are arbitrary, and so much to not neglect now – which means I must live like I'm alive (because I have died already; we should only die twice) (but then again I must die constantly to live!) and consume as many cupcakes as possible before my metabolism slows down and I become heavier than an Iraqi football player.

I am scum of the earth, an heiress, refuse of the world, a ragamuffin, a child, persecuted, a fool to you, giving up any trace of life to oh! find more life!, a waterfall, a princess, I'm not Ruth but ruth, and I am sleepy. Goodbye everyone!

2007-06-16T19:41:00.000+08:00

The ears are feeding on Bradley Hathaway - On Being Joyful and Content

2007-06-15T21:08:00.000+08:00

The ears are feeding on The Cinematic Orchestra - Into You

Look up!
Luscious brushstrokes, smudges of blues and strong salmon tones,
Breath held,
Take a seat.
Sitting.
Next -
A large woman takes her place at your side,
Swaddled in lemon and gold cloth,
Armed with copper bangles,
Four gleaming rings on
Five stubby fingers.
She heaves her generous chest,
And launches into tirades of injustice at the shops.
Curses of misrepresentations of the term "sale".
Her granddaughter Sarika is much cuter than yours.
Why does that young punk sitting across look like a young punk?
Oh, this generation!
Smile, smile!
Smile!
Nod.
Smile back.

2007-06-03T00:49:00.000+08:00

The ears are feeding on He Is Legend - Scram Toots

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." - Jesus

And now, photo albums. Knock yourself out:

Brewerkz a while ago
LTT 1
LTT 2
Post-LTT
Bali 1
Bali 2
Bali 3
Walking around - Marmalade Pantry, Orchard
Mike and Kerry's Baby
ICS Graduation
Thursday, worship practice, Topshop, Timothy, car

Bye bye!

2007-05-25T17:16:00.000+08:00

The ears are feeding on Means - Cadences

Courtesy of Facebook status updates:

Robyn Scott is still thawing! 7m ago

Taryn Grace McKellar is cold. joberg is a piece of crap. 28m ago

Michael Bouwer is just chilling. No really, its bloody cold. 1h ago

...I'm feeling a bit guilty now for not appreciating this balmy weather I sometimes whine grumpily about.

So an unbelievable amount of a lot has been going on, and at the same time not a lot has been. But what has been has passed and what is to come, that is, definitely a lot, is to be welcomed with expectation, a smile on my face, my eyes looking Godward, and a few more grey hairs to signal maturity.

HA! Just kidding. My hair is still incredibly black.

We're all growing up and out and sideways and I'm still getting used to it, but more than ever before... it brings comfort now.

In other slightly related news, Facebook is eating up my life. I had a dream last night and people were arranged in a rollercoaster I was on with Rach according to their Facebook pictures. This is potential worry-fodder, for I fear that I will create my own utopia of pixellated people to spend time with and then consequently forget that I, along with those other pixellated people, am made of flesh and that we bleed.

Hmmm... Also been reading too much on authenticity, which explains a pre-empted paranoia of losing myself to virtual reality. (Yes, Meg, I'm using that phrase again. Sorry if you're getting the creeps now!)

I'm also thinking about predestination, and what it must be like to not know where you're going. Isn't that all of us? Most of us do know where we're headed; we have something in mind. And to NOT have anything in mind is now seen as ludicrous in this rat race we wonder to be a part of. (I speak on behalf of The Unsures, myself included.) So we're balancing a greater vision and hope, and a tangible goal in life. And to avoid a senseless ramble, I'll try to be short about my open-ended conclusion (ooh! paradox! that's because I now understand that understanding is an unending part of this life... there's always more than everything we think we know) of predestination. Oh, and predestination would not make sense to anyone without a sense of reverence or belief towards a higher deity or being, so this is for people who believe or know there is a God. Augh, actually, stuff all those disclaimers. Think of me as you will.

I've realised that predestination is a point of contention with people who feel the need to take better control of their lives, make their own decisions, and don't enjoy being told what to do. Which partially includes me, since I'm still working out my issues with authoritarianism from others. Haha. I am, however, at a stage in my life where I understand that it's only natural that as as believer in Christ I ought to take off my willful/divisive/manipulative/know-it-all cap off and submit to the will of God. So I'm finding it rather interesting that most of the time I hear debates about predestination within the body of Christ. Here's what it says in Romans 8:

For those God foreknew He also predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified.

So... Isn't it much easier to let ourselves go? I know, easier is also easier said than done. But that should be what we work towards, instead of being philosophically correct about everything. Isn't that a contradiction in itself, since philosophy for the good of man (which should be everyone's stance) should not be the force of thought and reason upon individuals but instead impartation of interpretation and as such, discernment according to each one's morality-based belief?

...Not sure I'm making good sense anymore. I'm thinking too much.

And in such thinking, I think I'm going to go float now. Adieu!

2007-05-06T20:35:00.000+08:00

The ears are feeding on He is Legend - Scram Toots

as freedom is a breakfastfood
or truth can live with right and wrong
or molehills are from mountains made
-long enough and just so long
will being pay the rent of seem
and genius please the talentgang
and water most encourage flame

as hatracks into peachtrees grow
or hopes dance best on bald men's hair
and every finger is a toe
and any courage is a fear
-long enough and just so long
will the impure think all things pure
and hornets wail by children stung

or as the seeing are the blind
and robins never welcome spring
nor flatfolk prove their world is round
nor dingsters die at break of dong
and common's rare and millstones float
-long enough and just so long
tomorrow will not be too late

worms are the words but joy's the voice
down shall go which and up come who
breasts will be breasts and thighs will be thighs
deeds cannot dream what dreams can do
-time is a tree (this life one leaf)
but love is the sky and i am for you
just so long and long enough

2007-04-25T17:11:00.000+08:00

The ears are feeding on Bear vs Shark - The Great Dinosaurs with Fifties Section

It is a bad, bad, baaaad idea to not come in to the office for just one day. Very bad. Too many emails. My eyes hurt. My head isn't working well.

Oh dear.

At the very least, the rest of life has been super duper dandy.
...Mostly.

2007-04-13T16:44:00.000+08:00

The ears are feeding on The Chariot - Yanni Depp

Clogged:
Nose
Brain
Heart
Throat

Outside:
Rain, lots of rain, no rain, rain
Meg
Rach
Bread and butter pudding

Today:
Waffles
San cha
Missage
Green noodles

Yesterday:
Dentist
South Africans
Cooked
John Tucker Didn't Die :(

I am fascinated by fish and pollution and cooking and with stocking up the larder singlehandedly (I now have proper muscles).

2007-04-09T15:27:00.000+08:00

The ears are feeding on Sparta - Taking Back Control

Hey! I'm scene!

^;

2007-04-02T13:46:00.000+08:00

The ears are feeding on Showbread - Age of Reptiles

All birds are birds;
there is no distinction between imitators and rat-ravishers.
Remembering again that we are to soar higher than birds,
discovering individualised delight in distanced discovery; grace.

He spreads out the Northern skies over empty space;
He suspends the earth over nothing.
He marks out the horizon on the face of the waters
for a boundary between light and darkness.
By His breath the skies became fair;
His hand pierced the gliding serpent.

And these are but the outer fringe if His works;
how faint the whisper we hear of Him!

Fainthearted, we cry for more.
Weaklings, we give in to slick lust.
Senseless, we perish under our flesh.
Foolhardy, we understand faith.

Why gaze in envy, O rugged mountains, at Mount Zion?
Even then such glory is contained, suppressed, and straining at its edges.
Soon we will rust.

[The church] deserves neither God's mercy nor men's trust. The church must constantly be aware that its faith is weak, its knowledge dim, its profession of faith halting, that there is not a single sin or failing which it has not in one way or another been guilty of. And though it is true that the church must always dissociate itself from sin, it can never have any excuse for keeping any sinners at a distance. If the church remains self-righteously aloof from failures, irreligious and immoral people, it cannot enter justified into God's kingdom. But if it is constantly aware of its guilt and sin, it can live in joyous awareness of forgiveness. The promise has been given to it that anyone who humbles himself will be exalted.

His will be done on earth as it is in heaven, as long as we are willing.

2007-03-27T16:25:00.000+08:00

The ears are feeding on Life In Your Way - We Don't Believe

A few days ago 30 things crowded my mind, and today it is a blank canvas.
Perhaps I'll find something to spill over it.

1. How much quixotism can one contain before neurosis?
2. Is any varying degree of astounding reality detrimental to flourishing hope?
3. Why are we still sitting around?
4. ______?

2007-03-26T02:55:00.000+08:00

2007-03-14T01:27:00.000+08:00

The ears are feeding on One 21 - Jehovah is my Strength

This week I am getting a very practical education in solitude.

1. Feed bunny
2. Check parents' email, mailbox, voicemail
3. Bank in money
4. Clear trash
5. Fold clothes (one hanky, two pairs of socks, four towels, 6 shirts, various assortment of undies)
6. Feed myself (discovered unopened and expired pack of champagne ham in fridge - upsetting)
7. Sleep at decent hours in spite of temporal, yet newfound, freedom
8. Spend less money (make every dollar stretch! *smarmy wink*)
9. Four letters: ITCC
10. Reply to emails and letters, to prove myself worthy of what resembles friendship
11. Not die of loneliness and sordid lack of hugs

2007-03-03T00:33:00.000+08:00

mewithoutYou - in a Sweater Poorly Knit
Garbage in, garbage out.

It was an epiphany of sorts, the other night, to realise that I am of no value to the world.

I thought that was pretty freaking awesome.

I'm not saying it's wise to get by without paper qualifications, because we DO need to survive, and God gave us brains and talents, but I'm saying that that isn't the only way to live life. To hang by the A's and B's and C's of ink spat out dutifully on sheets of paper. If anything, sometimes it stifles more, because of the pressure to do well, to succeed - in the eyes of the world. Perhaps that road isn't the right one for me. And since I'm pretty far off from that particular path, I'd say I'm doing alright.

In all honesty, I currently don't give a crap. Maybe I'll take that sentence back one day, or wish I could, when I feel the repercussions of apparent intellectual complacency.

On the other hand, who is to dictate what I am to do, how I am to learn? The freedom of choice also means great consequence, which I can deal with if I am to progress as a person (who wants to digress?) and enjoy it while I do. If books and lectures cannot teach me well, I am better off getting an education with my Bible and making my way through life with the people around me, the creation around me; with God. To take the road less travelled, to take the road not recognised by people with degrees and doctorates waving around madly and bosses of large corporations, is no easy feat - know that I am in no way undermining the greatness in one's strength of intellect. It just isn't for everyone. I don't feel like I need proof that I can think for myself, and I am not saying that to make myself feel better for whatever it is I lack, or some other psychological reason one may come up with as a means to point out a fault within my being.

I know this is a grey area and a very tricky one to weave through, almost like a dirty rattan basket not woven properly, but every day I am living by the relentless grace of God and it currently feels incredibly awesome.

Actually, I used to have trouble with the word "feel". It can be so vague for society around us, entirely opinionated, and not always sensible. Now I am bent on putting rationality aside when I feel strongly about something, anything in particular, because as much as feelings are not always rational, it's a reality we all understand, or at least ought to.

That's why we weren't created to be robots without our own minds. That's also why we have the freedom of choice. I learned today that birds aren't actually free (which is a slight bummer, I really enjoyed the phrase "free as a bird", I suppose it will now have to be changed to "freer than a bird") because they do things by instinct (such as migrating when it gets cold), by what has been ingrained in them already. We humans, however, have the power to choose to stay somewhere cold and enjoy it, or leave and enjoy warmth elsewhere. This might not be the best expression or explanation of my understanding, besides the less-than-obvious bird reasoning in which I have absolutely zero expertise in, (I also have been having to explain myself a lot this entire year, and I'm not sure why... I tend to say things pretty disjointedly, or am restrained by the most ridiculous but still intrusive technicalities) of this whole freedom thing, but... I'm still learning, and this is the space I get to write stuff like this. Safe enough to display publicly on the internet, and yet personal enough to not be able to expound on every intentionally hidden meaning in this post.

I just realised I sometimes have the desire to compartmentalise my thoughts. It isn't a bad desire, but what is the need to, when I am not obligated to explain myself to anyone? It can be a blessing to have the ability to order my thoughts right, but on days like this I prefer not being able to.

Which brings me to this - it's amazing how the day I had is making more sense now, as I slow down and muse over what I have learned before turning over in slumber - I read a friend's excellent perspective about "filing thoughts" today, and am pondering over the rigidity that is in our structures, the organisational techniques employed to make our lives better but ultimately worse, and what a mess it is we have created in and of ourselves, and what a beautiful world in which we have been blessed with to enjoy this unbelievable mess of things.

Oh, and one more thing. I believe there is an intentional and immeasurable amount of greater depth to everything we know... And in everything there is so much more to be revealed. Revelations in even the slightest things draw us closer to God, which means He also draws closer to us... This whole God subject is so win-win, I don't see the lure of running away from what pulls us closer to Truth.

It feels good to write like this, as I please, to not be entirely coherent, but to understand myself better, also with what God is doing in me and around me, and yet to not know anything at all. I believe I have finally learned to enjoy mystery.

2007-02-26T13:23:00.000+08:00

Psalm 34

I bless God every chance I get; my lungs expand with His praise.

I live and breathe God;
if things aren't going well, hear this and be happy:

Join me in spreading the news;
together let's get the word out.

God met me more than halfway,
He freed me from my anxious fears.

Look at Him; give Him your warmest smile.
Never hide your feelings from Him.

When I was desperate, I called out,
and God got me out of a tight spot.

God's angel sets up a circle
of protection around us while we pray.

Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see -
how good God is.
Blessed are you who run to Him.

Worship God if you want the best;
worship opens doors to all His goodness.

Young lions on the prowl get hungry,
but God-seekers are full of God.

Come, children, listen closely;
I'll give you a lesson in God worship.

Who out there has a lust for life?
Can't wait each day to come upon beauty?

Guard your tongue from profanity,
and no more lying through your teeth.

Turn your back on sin; do something good.
Embrace peace - don't let it get away!

God keeps an eye on His friends,
His ears pick up every moan and groan.

God won't put up with rebels;
He'll cull them from the pack.

Is anyone crying for help? God is listening,
ready to rescue you.

If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;
if you're kicked in the guy, He'll help you catch your breath.

Disciples so often get into trouble;
still, God is there every time.

He's your bodyguard, shielding every bone;
not even a finger gets broken.

The wicked commit slow suicide;
they waste their lives hating the good.

God pays for each slave's freedom;
no one who runs to Him loses out.

2007-02-25T02:01:00.000+08:00

Norma Jean - Organized Beyond Recognition is in my head now.
Garbage in, garbage out.

COLLINS: By being outside of nature, God is also outside of space and time. Hence, at the moment of the creation of the universe, God could also have activated evolution, with full knowledge of how it would turn out, perhaps even including our having this conversation. The idea that he could both foresee the future and also give us spirit and free will to carry out our own desires becomes entirely acceptable.

DAWKINS: I think that's a tremendous cop-out. If God wanted to create life and create humans, it would be slightly odd that he should choose the extraordinarily roundabout way of waiting for 10 billion years before life got started and then waiting for another 4 billion years until you got human beings capable of worshipping and sinning and all the other things religious people are interested in.

COLLINS: Who are we to say that that was an odd way to do it? I don't think that it is God's purpose to make his intention absolutely obvious to us. If it suits him to be a deity that we must seek without being forced to, would it not have been sensible for him to use the mechanism of evolution without posting obvious road signs to reveal his role in creation?

---

Believe.

2007-02-19T12:58:00.000+08:00

Norma Jean - Like Swimming Circles
Garbage in, garbage out.

Kierkegaard has cleverly explained the subjectivity of truth and the truth of subjectivity today. It feels nice to understand where he's coming from. Or rather, where he came from, since he's been dead for 152 years. Gong xi fa cai, everyone!

Lazy (that word has been attached to my name a few times this week... that's quite worrying, but not really) to upload pictures all over again on this thing, and since they're already all on Facebook... click THIS and THIS OTHER THIS.

2007-02-12T21:24:00.000+08:00

The Chariot - Someday, In The Event That Mankind Actually Figures Out What It Is That This World Revolves Around, Thousands Of People Are Going To Be Shocked And Perplexed To Find Out That It Was Not Them. Sometimes This Includes Me.
Garbage in, garbage out.

"Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This is not a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in." Luke 11:10, MSG

(A slight disclaimer: I am aware that The Message is not the most flawless paraphrasing of the Bible, but Eugene Peterson does a pretty amazing job at capturing the essence of that verse.)

"Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!" Luke 11:11-13, NIV

It has taken me this long to understand what it means to pray boldly, but tonight it came as an absolute epiphany and I am ecstatic. What has been holding me back? I speak up a lot, which means I am really quite vocal, but when it comes to serious heart issues, I can barely say it out loud. Fortunately God DOES know our hearts, but we all know He enjoys hearing us speak with Him, praying persistently... So this is cultivating a different boldness. This is not like obnoxiously demanding things from my parents (which I don't consciously know if I do... hopefully I'm past that), because this has got to do with bigger issues - my parents will never deprive me of my needs ("ask for what you need") and if God has already given us the Holy Spirit as a gift, what could He possibly deprive me of? I don't think this passage disqualifies wants, as well - the desires of our hearts. Another brilliant revelation a while ago was when Rach reminded me that those desires were there for a reason - God let them be there. He PUT THEM THERE. Obviously discerning which desires are selfish is necessary, but basically... God is a giving God, and He wants to fulfill the desires of our hearts if He put those desires there in the first place.

I had a conversation with my Dad in the kitchen a few minutes ago, about life in the Spirit... I must say that I'm only just beginning to notice the changes around me. We're all sorted out when we are baptised in the Holy Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentless, and self-control - because that is all we need, and it occurred to me that when I devote time with God and focus on Him, every single relationship I have with anyone changes, for the better.

Aggghhh. This is all really very exciting!

Anyhoo... aside from the spiritual side of what God has been doing, in the physical realm I have had a very bizarre sort of week. But good, nevertheless! Today I finally sorted out the million songsheets strewn all over The Corner of Happiness (Church of Joy's location has been recently coined as such, because there is great anticipation when walking down that seemingly never ending red carpet towards those bombastic doors) and Aaron was extremely kind to help and also offer his €500 worth on organisational skills, anthropology, God, and leadership. (I had spent a good amount of time thinking about the peculiarity it is that there are more songs beginning with the letter "H" than any other alphabet. Aaron enlightened me, but there is still a pressing need - more Q's and Z's, please?) By the way, Nick, if you are reading this: PLEASE SORT OUT YOUR GREEN FILE AND BORDERS BAG! We already arranged the loose sheets in a neat pile and the ones in the clear folders need to be taken out. THANKING YOU! And the rest of the worship team: PLEASE DON'T PHOTOCOPY SONGS LIKE TREES SPROUT OF OUR EARS, WE HAVE ABOUT 20 COPIES OF ALL THE SONGS WE SING THE MOST. THANK YOU!

Okay... My work for the day has been done. Now, pictures.

2007-02-06T19:12:00.000+08:00

xDEATHSTARx - Where's Your Faith Now?
Garbage in, garbage out.

Today, it feels good to be alive.
Tomorrow, it will still feel the same.

I skimmed through Numbers and Deuteronomy this morning, cooked myself lunch (an accomplishment!), brushed my teeth at 4:38, and am now laughing at camel pictures.

2007-02-05T22:14:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am veal bratwurst, butternut, potato
The ears are feeding on BANE - Pot Committed

I was in the bathroom this morning and I thought of this ~~lovely~~ site and how I haven't put up any pictures in a fairly long time. Here is a vague amalgamation of the past month or so.

Oh. Weird. I thought there would be more pictures, but I think the past few weeks have just felt really long.

- Reuben the Brother left, which was a very sad occasion.
- I met Anna and we watched The Last King of Scotland. Watch it. But don't.
- Yanni got baptized! And so did Chris. Ohhh happy day
- Rented Adam's Apples, Cache, Paradise Now, and various other movies I've been wanting to see for the longest time. They were all good.
- Meg and I never made it to the Bird Park for our awesome adventure. Oh well. IT WILL HAPPEN.

Hmmm... I can't really remember what else has been going on... My brain has aged too quickly for my own good, so much so it has skipped the peak of intellectual prowess and instead jumped into degeneration.

So this week has started out very geek-like, with me being stuck on the computer for about 12 hours today. Tomorrow will be partially spent at beautiful Bestway, all because I have to give the lady cheques. And I WILL DO ITCC. I mean it. Thursday, Rach and Nick and I are going to Geylang to have dinner. Anyone keen on coming along, let me know! God forbid old men "identify" Rach and I as prostitutes... Maybe I'll wear cloth up to my chin, wrists, and ankles. It's going to be interesting.

2007-02-02T13:29:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am hydrochloric acid and Polo mints
The ears are feeding on xLooking Forwardx - You're Worth It

The Inconsistencies of Man

There was once a girl who loved to bake. She dreamt of beautiful cupcakes all day, sumptious jellies for her sisters to feast on, and sweet peach tarts she would bring to her Grandmother's house. She vowed to be the best baker in her country. The next week, she took up knitting, forgetting her trusty oven in the kitchen, crying out to be used. The week after, all knitting and baking tendencies she once held dear to her heart flew out the window as she decided to conquer the Internet and create a new revolutionary software (in the vein of Google, but not really). She merely wanted to feel useful, particularly to herself. The next week she bought a dog and spent all her time cooing over it.

So that was clearly a paragraph of nonsense, because I know not of any girl who has such odd inclinations, but my Mom told me to write something about the inconsistencies of man and I didn't know how else to write about it. How is it possible to venture into a subject I myself am guilty of consistently committing? Here are my inconsistencies, which turn out to be bad habits more than anything else, but also count as inconsistencies:

1. I have a bad habit of not completing/finishing things before I move on to/start using something else, such as toiletries, homework, books, food, and TV shows.

2. I don't feel like writing anymore, so I won't -

Which reminds me: my duty of being a living and breathing person means that feelings cannot dictate everything, because the world would be in a catastrophic state if every single person acted on the individual's emotions and not his or her duties. On further thought, however - a thought that came two seconds later - the world is already in a rather catastrophic state because people want to do what they want to do. Like me. But I'm going to continue starting my sentences with "but" even if it makes no sense and is grammatically wrong and stop writing right now so much so there isn't even time (think space/time continuum) for a period to end this sentence

2007-02-01T00:21:00.000+08:00

I do not exist
Only You exist

2007-01-26T17:03:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am an insane amount of cake
The ears are feeding on mewithoutYou's Brother, Sister

Cool. The computer just froze.

Richard Dawkins (how honorable it is to have finally joined the frenzied circle of people who enjoy discussing such matters in regards to his name) is a rather stubborn old man. I just read this which obviously got me all riled up, inside out. I am definitely not qualified or well-read enough to write a stunning thesis on Richard Dawkins' misgivings but dare I say this haughtiness and superiority he exudes is an assurance and a security to what he cannot give an answer for... Isn't it within one's own intellect that it is easiest to seek solace and understanding? There is no mystery to solve. There is self-justification in your own achievements and qualifications. If that isn't selfishness embodied I don't know what else isn't plausible. Also, he doesn't seem to realise that his intellect is limited.

Then again, he doesn't believe in God. He doesn't believe that there is a need for God. There is no room for God in his life. Because Richard Dawkins is self-sufficient.

I just had a very long train of thought about all of this... So I have found out that the "beloved" Dr Dino is in jail for tax fraud... And scientists with a few grams of faith have come up with Theistic Evolution... We came from APES? That's dignified, alright. It also doesn't make sense how atheist scientists believe that there is wonder in nature and yet not believe in God. It had to come from somewhere, and it sure wasn't their imagination that everything just happened to come together and form what we know, what surrounds us.

There is just so much to take in, and so much to reject. Does all that really matter? I don't know yet. Perhaps I'll never know. Sometimes enjoying the mystery instead of being sucked into controversy is better. There is beauty in simplicity, NOT ignorance, and I am currently content knowing my future does not include the calling of a scientist and I therefore do not give a crap about theories that undermine my God.

2007-01-23T12:06:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am air. I have the worst tummy ache everrr
The ears are feeding on As I Lay Dying - Distance is Darkness

I'm so tired. Might take a cue from Meg's mandatory rest after she abruptly fell sick and spent a few days in bed. I wish I could spend a few days in my nicenewawesomewonderful bed (now complete with cushions - finally), but the lack of cold air from the white contraption stuck to the wall would probably kill me first.

I don't feel like Ruth. I feel like absolute crap.

Also, it's February next week. I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING!!! I'm so dead!!! Dead dead dead. At least I don't wish to be euthanised. RIght now, I just want to be like a lemon... full of zest! And stuff.

Today will be the day I read my Theology notes.

Aaaaaaaahghasdjhgsdgnmasdfkjsdfm01893465143

I am suuuch a whiner today and it's getting me into trouble. I wonder how little I'll be able to speak today. I'm going to give speaking less a shot. Hahahahha.

Wow. My brother is dutifully using the corn/callus remover I got him. It's kind of revolting.

Maybe a Milo will make me feel better.

Oh score, my brother just left the house to have lunch with someone and I didn't say bye. One word down. A few hundred thousand more to not say...

---

Two days after Muse (which was awesome and sticky and quite annoying like how a mosh pit is annoying. Also, I was too short to see much of Matt Bellamy but oh well, I'm over it), we paid Ikea a visit and emerged rather dusty and poked (by those cacti things). We got squished in the car. It's also quite unfortunate that this is a really bad picture of all of us.

Pre-Pan's Labyrinth, which was very good and scary and political and weird at the same time. Stupid Pan.

Pre-homegroup, post-lusting after material goods.

Singapore pride. And a weird jamming session.

Here is an example of courteous driving:

Rach and I giving our best faces

"Take a picture of me and my school!!" "Oh... it looks haunted.."

LOOK!! IT'S A STAR!!

And a lamp!!

Rach poses and I'm just happy

Some crappy graffiti I bothered taking a picture of. We ran into some China monks after this, who were frantically motioning towards a large toad on the ground, and it was slightly awkward after I told them Jesus loves them.

2007-01-14T22:15:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am mango
The ears are feeding on the sound of automobiles on a wet road

Mannequin drama.

Tim looks like a hunched pixie!

We saw some seriously crappy stunt. Seriously.

Cast or crew? You decide.

Food art; or how I eat my food with great finesse:

The (cheap) crochet bunny

The car ride took us 50 minutes... I got bored

It rained, and rained, and rained, and rained

Rhoobarb's birthday - we feasted at Al Forno

We weren't inebriated... we just got soggy in the rain

Tee hee

Jesse's funnier-looking Doppelganger! We think he might have been Russian. Vladimir something.

STAR WARS TROOPER = MEG'S SHORTS (which were originally mine, come to think of it)

"Reach out... reach out... HEY! I'll be theeeere..."

Ministry this morning

We got tired of standing around waiting for no one..

See?

Askjdsd

THE DRESS!!! No bicycle shorts, Megsy :D

THE DRESS AGAIN!!! They kind of forgot it was a dress.

I loooooooove my Mom

:D

2007-01-07T19:46:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am the filling of a chicken pie
The ears are feeding on Showbread - So Selfish It's Funny

BACK TO OLD SCHOOL ON TUESDAY: I might not make it out alive, but hopefully Jo's "sanity" and Chris' incessant elbow-pinching will help me survive the Amazonian and other creatures I might not be entirely stoked to see. (Nothing against Amazonians, really. Just a particular one who rubbed me the wrong way, kind of like a broken matchstick.)

My brother has been completely enthralled by Dr Dino's findings and even incorporated a wealth of creation/scientific/anti-evolutionistic facts in his sermon this morning. Which, I must say, was an outstanding one because this line in The Great Divorce suddenly held true to my own life:

"Do you really think there are no sins of intellect?"

I'm not saying I'm the most brilliant person around, but I've had my fair share of questioning God and all the trivialities of defending the existence of God. HE IS. I'm also done with rationalising, storing up useless information in my brain (almost like Matthew 6:19-21 because it only makes me more discontent and critical). I don't mean that finding out core truths of the Bible and God is absolutely irrelevant - there's just a very fine line between trusting God and trying to feed the devil's want of me doubting God. And I'm fed up with it. So that's how today was. A very good one. :-)

Chris came by church this afternoon and mourned the death of chickencootiepower. Meg and I then reminisced our superduper airheaded days... Go figure that that's when I was physically attending a school. So I really like seeing all these retarded mementos from the past to remind me how much I've grown since then. Granted, Meg and I are rather retarded at our core of hyperness (six years ago: "I'M FLYING!! I'M FLYING!!" *flaps arms*) but when it boils down to what really matters, we know how to take things seriously. And more often than not word-vomit is only induced after excessive caffeine/chocolate/sugar/cake/lamb/socialising.

Also, I'm pretty sure people around me would definitely like to clarify that I'm still really... silly (a diplomatic word to use), but just not so much on this shortruth thing. You'll have to meet me to know what they mean. Mike was also kind enough to tell me I am "a breath of crazy, deranged and distracted air in an otherwise boring world" which I have chosen to take as a compliment, because it's better that way.

Anywho.... I'm done typing, I have just realised how much I miss journalling. I will listen to Norma Jean/mewithoutYou/With Honor and bleed my words out. Booyah!!

Kidding. Here are pictures from the past few days, weeks, today, hours, whatever. Sorry about the repetition, but, well, there isn't much to take around here.

2007-01-04T02:12:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am raisins
The ears are feeding on Every Time I Die - Tusk and Temper

Pink flares!
Two rainbows!
A semi-working air con!

This year is going to be brilliant.

2006-12-30T19:49:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am pork ribs/smoked duck/instant noodles (the last resort)
The ears are feeding on Brenton Brown? - Holy
The ears are feeding on Muse - Stockholm Syndrome

I HAVE A DEVASTATING HEADACHE. IT'S... COLOSSAL.

I just heard three opinions about the headache around the dinner table... The verdict is that I have a rather stupid sleeping schedule. I suppose my family has a point.

To end a year, and to start a new one, I'll have to say God is love and love is the best thing that could ever exist. (I know "thing" might be the wrong word to use, but whatever.) I could whine about how slow the internet is but I'm sure that's been said and done already. I could also whine about the lack of snow in Singapore and the state my stomach is in (post-Christmas feasting is standard in this household... we have too much food and I am definitely not saying it's a bad thing. It's just... consequential.) But whining will only make my head hurt more, and probably yours, too.

Instead, I shall count my blessings (sorry if I leave out something that's got to do with you... my head hurts and it's a good excuse) for all you people to see, just because you are currently bothering to read this.

Ruth counts her innumerable blessings (and counted not according to preference)
01. We got cable: World Cup!! Endless nights of testosterone-filled EPL matches!! I have never made it a big deal to tell everyone how much I like soccer. (But now you know.)
02. Some rubbish that happened, which turned out to be less rubbish-like. You know how "God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose" and all that? It's true! I'm that much smarter now.
03. Dresses and tops and whatnot The Parents bought for me
04. Four necklaces for Christmas: an ornament, a glass leaf from Venice, a flamingo, and three pendants
05. Chronologically: Meeting Skye (we're alike but not quite, she is such a gem and without her there would be no Mikexxx) and Luke (zoo! photos! Starbucks!) and James (touristy to the max - Little India, Chinatown) and Mark (he passed me germs from China because of the yummiest toffeenut latte, Mandarin practice, 7:45, plus we had met when I was four - I have ALWAYS wanted to meet people I used to play with)
06. The holiday in Thailand, which was tremendously holidayey. Also, The Saujana.
07. Intense Starbucksing with Rach Tea
08. Talking outside Kenny Rogers with Meg, and camp horse
09. A bunch of amazing grapes we bought at Cold Storage one night... the skin peeled off just like that.
10. Email and emails
11. Hanging out with Tim after months and months and months of not
12. Still being able to talk to Kayla and Rory and Mar in spite of distance
13. The Liger shirt my brother made for me
14. All the meals/desserts/cake/chocolate Nick and Jeremy made for everyone - especially the dinner at Jeanne's house
15. My birthday present(s) from Meg, Rach, and Jeanne, my absolute loves
16. The ridiculous amount of patience my parents and Meg and Rach have had with me
17. Prison Break
18. Smses, emails, and letters from friends I received out of the blue
19. Year-end madness, which is always stressful but ultimately really fun
20. Dinners and lunches with my grandma, aunt, and grandaunt
21. Watching Muse live in a few weeks' time, for free (sort of, I have an amazing brother)
22. Knowing I can't wait for next year to come and surprise me
23. I can actually get the accounts done without screwing up too badly!!!
24. God's providence in getting me to Indonesia... Actually, all of us. And Rach being there for the Semarang bit!
25. Norma Jean
26. Rose Veranda and King's College Choir with Meg and Rach... it has to be annual now
27. The rain: I love that it's been cool around here... even if it's inconvenient it beats sweating pools of uric acid.
28. My purple walls - it's going to work with turqoise after all!!
29. The abundant availability of food in Singapore. And Milo.
30. Living with the fact that having been justified by God's grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.

Okay. I have to end there. There needs to be a massive cleaning of my room before tomorrow night's dinner. Even though Rooby and I love the coolness wet weather brings, we're really praying it doesn't tomorrow, because the beach is going to be gorgeous if skies are clear.

A bunch of pictures from the past few days... (LTT and post-LTT photos will be up once I get the DVD from Luke)

2006-12-26T20:27:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am nasty bak chor mee
The ears are feeding on Bad Religion - Mediocre Minds

To make up for all the pictures I never got round to posting... Here goes. We'll start with... My birthday. The food at Shani Maharani was absolutely amazing. (click on the pictures if you want to see them bigger)

Friday: Worship practice for City Celebration with JD and ReAnn

And then my uber touristy day with Luke and James... We went to Chinatown. Fancy that, a Hindu temple in Chinatown... I also got my pirate book! *love*

Sunday. Tyrone Daniel preached on Jonah... it was a really good take on God's will

2006-12-22T12:05:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am a gingerbread man
The ears are feeding on The Polyphonic Spree - It's The Sun

The past few weeks:
Malaysia
Luke, James, Mark
Zoo
Chinatown
Little India
Starbucks
Orchard
Rooby
Krispy Kreme
Indonesia
Massage
Manipedi
Shopping
Meg's house
Julian's new house
Shangri-La, Rose Veranda
King's College Choir
V Tea Room
Bruise
City Hall
Christmas shopping
Breakdown
Charlotte's Web
and tonight is Potter's Clay's gig

I AM SO TIREDDDDDD

2006-11-25T15:12:00.000+08:00

I know I'm piling up entries on this one page, which I wrote back in November. It's the 13th of December now, and I'm SO flipping TIREDDDD. This is all I can muster for now...

---

HELLO, EVERYONE!
GOING TO INDONESIA FOR TEN DAYS
YIPPEE :D
GOODBYE EVERYONE
AND LOOK OUT FOR 900 PHOTOS WHEN I'M BACK

I went to the zoo with Luke and birds tried to eat us.

---

If you are what you eat, I am MSG-coated noodles
The ears are feeding on Five Iron Frenzy - Everywhere I Go

This week flew by too quickly - hen bu hao. But it was a hen hao week. Lots to say, but I can't really say much because I don't know where to start. It was amazing and brilliant and incredibly awesome. I miss people already. :-(

Took 450 pictures, which, if loaded on this page, will drive most computers crazy and jam up the internet. Here are about a hundred.

UH OH. I HAVE TO MEET RACH VERY SOON, BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO DO SOMETHING FOR MEG. I'M STILL IN MY JAMMIES.

All the pictures later. Much, much, much later.

Thursday
Dustin Kensrue

DanielDay - cheesecake and a jazz band

Friday
Height issues with Ian

Everyone wants to be Asian-sized

That's awroiyt!

Legions!!

Mark was receiving that crazy sms explosion tone thing

It was still DanielDay in his head

Oww, what did you do that for?

On his way to Vietnam

Camphorse

RayRay and Isaku

Kleefurd, friend of Bono.

Kidlets

Kid

Guess who! - courtesy of Luke and James

Probably talking about Aston Martins

Chi gou le? Chigoule.

It was raining

My answer to Mark's question, which had evaporated

Mom and Jacques

Ruth the short and Jacques the Tall

Supper with RachJacquesNickJulianJeremyRaymondCliffordTinaOdelleAnnelieEsteChristine

Spicy food, which actually helped my Mark-gave-me-germs throat

And then the batteries died.

2006-11-12T22:38:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am hairy crabs
The ears are feeding on He Is Legend - Cannonball Hands (The Tomato Parade)

What a weekend.
The gig was fabulous, and loud.
Anna's barbecue attracted a very diverse bunch of people.
Church was exactly what I needed this morning.
The sky was blue.
Someone died outside my house.
I'm supposed to be cleaning my room right now.

(Sorry the pictures are massive... I only realised more than halfway.)

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

2006-11-10T15:32:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am a red Haribo gummi bear
The ears are feeding on Mutemath - Typical

I'm tired.
ITCC.
No pictures today.
Gig tonight.
Anna's barbecue tomorrow night.
Politics.
God.
Lethargy.
Piano.
Brokenness.
Still no Redeemer.
No pirate book.
No presents.
Unsuccessful presents shopping trip yesterday.
Lots of birthdays.
Lots of food.
Lots of telly.
Lots of new music.
Lots of rain.
Lots of food to come.
Lots of people coming.
Shahi Maharani Thursday.
Look after Luke Ide and James Bennett.
New friends.
Malaysia.
Busy, busy, busy.
Rest.
Brother home December 1.
Indonesia.
Too many books.
Shangri-La.
Christmas.
An accidental reenactment in reverse.

2006-11-05T16:53:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am curry... lots and lots of curry
The ears are feeding on Clementi - Sonatina in C (First Movement), Op. 36 No.3 (it's in my head because I just played it.)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!
I know you're always checking this, to make sure I'm not up to no good.

2006-10-31T10:15:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am morning mouth muck (sorry, I know how gross that sounds but it's true)
The ears are feeding on mewithoutYou - The Dryness And The Rain

Festive is my word of the moment. Life around here has been trippy and full of gut-wrenching excitement... I'm having a weird sort of mentality now; gut-wrenching is looking rather macabre in my head and I don't mind. I woke up yesterday loving everyone and everything... Today I'm a bit more human-like.

Oh, here are a few links:

CDs and a book. Oh, my. This is also interesting. Looks like the battle between labelling music and dabbling in secularism will end only when Jesus returns.

Monday
I watched a video that Tim created rather niftily but cleverly without showing his face once, I talked to Kayla for a little while and she might be coming here!!!, I observed the primary effort of Kurt's world domination plans and the obvious schizophrenic effect it had on him (geniuses are often deranged; we had this conversation once), I met Meg in Chinatown and spent more money, the posse appeared behind the textiles shop - Chris was there to buy shampoo and the rest were there for the calligraphy dude, Meg was upset at the lack of charms and I was upset at the price of clasps, Jeremy bought us bubble tea (unfortunately the lady put the revolting black crap pearls in my drink), we took about a million pictures, we watched Chris tell what the calligraphy dude to do which was quite funny, we packed into Chris' car and headed for Bestway, took another million pictures, Meg and I watched them figure out the turntable technicalities and sound issues while she tried to employ my help with her congress, and then I went home and watched tv.

SO the bigger question here is if anything I did yesterday, as amazingly fun as it was, will change how the rest of my future will be. Am I becoming a better person? Am I helping my friends becoming better people? (I don't know where to draw the line at supporting potentially devious plans to take over the world, etc.) Am I one step closer to achieving something? Am I any closer to getting a proper career? Are you going to join Kurt's forum (might be redundant already)? What am I going to do to celebrate my birthday? Is there anything to eat at home?

Sorry. Short attention span. Anyway, photos. Lots of repetition. If you were there, you'd know why (but chances are I didn't see you yesterday)!

2006-10-26T11:04:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am some Chinese snack thing
The ears are feeding on No Doubt - Oi To The World!

Yes. I'm getting all geared up for Christmas, just like Orchard Road. It's still slightly ridiculous to dress the roads up so early, but I love Christmas so I don't actually care about timing.

The sky's been grey for the past few weeks. Grey and gross and bacteria-filled. So I woke up feeling pretty crap today, but I looked out the window and IT WAS BLUE. God cheered me up in a strange way, but in a very good way.

2006-10-21T11:59:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am lamb and fruit juice
The ears are feeding on Isaku on the phone with Jeanne

2006-10-19T13:17:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am golden raisins
The ears are feeding on Psalters - All Who Are Weary

I'll start with trivialities. The old tagboard thing is gone... Gone are declarations of Mike and Skye's undying love, gone are narcissistic quips, gone are random hellos. I'm being sentimental... over a tagboard. Anyway, I found a new one to put up.

My Dad has a gazillion books, and it has been silly of me to spend so much money buying my own when I can raid his bookshelf. I've been reading Christ Plays In Ten Thousand Places (I know, forgoing CS Lewis for Eugene Peterson... what's a girl to do?) in the bus on the way to work and like every other book that I carry with me onto 196, every other sentence makes me think more than I read. And so I end up spending 20 minutes pondering over 20 things, and I spend the other 10 trying to understand the depth of the passage with my eyes.

I'm incredibly different from how I was earlier this year, which is a weird thing for myself to realise. I'm not sure it's a good different. I know God is always shaping us to be more and more like Him, but things happened along the way to make me question myself, and question Him, and question everything I know. Which annoys me to no end right now; why on earth did I question the only Constant that will ever be present in this life? I ought to know better. There are many things I ought to know better. But I've realised that intellect and rationality get people nowhere at the end of the day, at the end of this life. Credibility is lost on me when I know my spirit needs something more than what the world and philosophies can offer. I let myself get robbed of the beauty of Christ's humanity and Divinity, and immersed myself in careless wanderings of the mind and of every other ideology not relevant to mine.

I mean, I'm not saying I was secretly a pagan or anything. But when the spirit of doubt weighs heavily on the inside, it translates into awkward repose on the outside.

So I'm not going to continue chasing fleeting fancies that will not satisfy me. It's good to have knowledge, but everything is absolutely meaningless - excessive knowledge begets pride, if you aren't careful - if not for God and His supreme sovereignty.

Who am I living for? What am I living for? I'm blessed to know the answers to those questions, and the burden I've been carrying has been one of feigned ignorance of what is set ahead for me. Ignorance isn't always bliss, because there are so many things I'd love to undo. I am of the firm belief that everything happens for a reason. Each and every circumstance is timed such that God can swiftly put us in our place, right where He needs us to be.

I'm not going to try to prove anything to anyone. I don't ever want to start on that again. God sees me as I am, blemished and utterly imperfect, but He has loved me with an everlasting love on my most undeserving days, and that is currently what is putting me in my place.

Rach and I figured out last night, that everything, no matter what, is deeper than it seems. That isn't a phrase of mockery, it's just a simple truth about everything we see on the surface.

There's still so much to understand, but I'm also understanding how this life is something to delight in. The plague of mediocrity seeps easily into wounds and careless cuts, but God gently cleans it out with His love and assurance. How discomfiting and euphoria-inducing it is to realise that everything I've said and done has been washed away by the cleansing blood of Christ.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good.
...His love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of gods.
...His love endures forever.
Give thanks to the Lord of lords:
...His love endures forever.
to him who alone does great wonders,
...His love endures forever.
who by his understanding made the heavens,
...His love endures forever.
who spread out the earth upon the waters,
...His love endures forever.
who made the great lights -
...His love endures forever.
the sun to govern the day,
...His love endures forever.
the moon and stars to govern the night;
...His love endures forever.
to him who struck down the firstborn of Egypt
...His love endures forever.
and brought Israel out from among them
...His love endures forever.
with a mighty hand and outstretched arm
...His love endures forever.
to him who divided the Red Sea asunder
...His love endures forever.
and brought Israel through the midst of it,
...His love endures forever.
but swept Pharaoh and his army into the Red Sea;
...His love endures forever.
to him who led his people through the desert,
...His love endures forever.
who struck down great kings,
...His love endures forever.
and killed mighty kings -
...His love endures forever.
Sihon king of the Amorites
...His love endures forever.
and Og king of Bashan -
...His love endures forever.
and gave their land as an inheritance,
...His love endures forever.
an inheritance to his servant Israel;
...His love endures forever.
to the One who remembered us in our low estate
...His love endures forever.
and freed us from our enemies,
...His love endures forever.
and who gives food to every creature.
...His love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of heaven.
...His love endures forever.

2006-10-10T16:16:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am mutton
The ears are feeding on DeVotchKa - Viens Avec Moi

The haze is back!
He Is Legend's new cd isn't very nice.

I figured not many people appreciate 150 pictures loading on this tiny page so click on the underlined words...

Josh's birthday: I brought my camera but left the memory card at home. So these pictures of absolute rubbish quality are courtesy of my phone. It was an enjoyable meal.. The food was brilliant. Val appeared for 15 minutes. Meg and some other girl didn't turn up so I was the only female there, which got a little bit creepy when the margaritas started flowing.

Sunday: I had the privilege of having lunch with my parents, the McKellars, and Uncle Kendall. The food was so good, but the company was 1000000 times better. I don't think I had had such an enriching and substantial lunch - in every single aspect, not just nutritionally - till Sunday's. And then there was the City Celebration at night. (Stupid mp3 player ran out of space to record the entire message.) It was repeated again and again that you can't just love one or two people of a nation... you've got to love the nation as a whole, embracing the people and immersing yourself in that particular culture, and such... Which is definitely challenging; it's already difficult loving the one I live in so that's something I've got to work on.

Yesterday was a fairly nice day, even though I wore the wrong pair of shoes. Death to fashion... I'm going to do the function thing for a while. My feet are still crying out right now. So there was work which was rather productive. I'm still taking forever with the accounts. Then there was a pre-dinner of staring at Kurt's sandwich with great lust. And then there was the real dinner. Ate with the parents at Gourmet Plus which wasn't outstanding, but was good nonetheless. Took two crappy pictures of the food - no time to fix technicalities, we were all hungry - and had a really awesome raspberry creme brulee thing. Then we went for a walk at the beach, which was was very healthy and everything, save for bothersome smokers dotting the beachfront and ruining the clean air. Murderers.

2006-10-10T16:13:00.000+08:00

City Celebration

2006-10-10T15:48:00.000+08:00

Josh's birthday

2006-10-06T13:38:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am medicine
The ears and eyes are feeding on Live 8 - Scissor Sisters

Clickhere for pickcheres.

2006-10-06T12:20:00.000+08:00

Visuals.

2006-10-05T13:11:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am eggnog biscuits
The ears are feeding on mewithoutYou - Wolf Am I! (And Shadow)

Thanks to
and ,

I am sick.

STOP BURNING TREES ALREADY.

In other news, October has started out deadly, I can sort of play pool, Little Miss Sunshine was brilliant, and it's going to be a long weekend of raspy communicating.

2006-09-28T16:01:00.001+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am TACT
The ears are feeding on Propagandhi - True

Today I discovered I am not fond of salt,
but am somehow shrivelling inside.

2006-09-24T18:11:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am steak
The ears are feeding on Pizzicato Five - Roma

Filler pictures! Just like the last post I made.

2006-09-22T16:44:00.001+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am a peppermint
The ears are feeding on The Arcade Fire - In The Back Seat

My ears are also coping with the noise emanating from amplifiers behind this window... Isaku, David, and Josh are here to boogey their musical asses off, and annoy everyone out of their offices. Huzzah!

I haven't got much to say. Which is a rarity, you must believe me. I went to see Miami Vice yesterday, with Rach and Josh, and it suckasuckasucked. Also, Sandy moved out yesterday... I forgot I could speak loudly again at 11:30 last night.

Every rechargeable battery in my room is still dead. Oops.

A Tribute to Long Car Rides with Meg and The Parents (I'm at home now.)

A Tribute to Intense Amp-Lifting and Worship Practice in the Auditorium

2006-09-19T22:49:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am Briyani with mutton curry. Mmm, dead lamb!
The ears are feeding on The Blood Brothers - We Ride Skeletal Lightning

I love Rach Tea!!

Along with the delightful fascinations of getting very lost, spending way too much money, and approaching cops and cops approaching us. (And sitting near strange people named Wayne.) Next technical Browhaus visitation in 2.25 months!

Ended up eating at Thai Express with Sandy on Sunday night.
I also rented Rock School, L'enfant, and Everything is Illuminated. (I haven't tried watching movies alone, but now is the time to see how I cope.)
The Parents are home, and thankfully very much alive.
Rooby called; he is alive and quite worked-out.
Jo is older and 18 today!!!
Jeremy will now shop with Meg, Rach, and me.
Miami Vice with Josh and anyone else who wants to come along on Thursday.
Kayla turns 17 this Friday.
Some sort of anti-alcohol food session with the alcohol lovers MegNickTeri and whoever, I think on Saturday night.

I am going to bask in what's left of my juvenile 17th year of life while I can, and behave appropriately as might be expected of me. Dramatic mountain-climbing analogies and intense growing up aside, God loves me and everyone and I love God and almost everyone and not everyone loves me. My brother writes incredible songs.

Oh, and thank YOU (sitemeter tells me Tim, Carol, and Dhany have outstanding domain addresses... Singaporeans just get the maxonline/singnet treatment so I don't know who you guys are) for still faithfully visiting this rather useless website of mine.

Also, picture taking was stalled this past week. Batteries died and I have been lazy to recharge them.

2006-09-16T20:56:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am Swedish cheese
The ears are feeding on Comeback Kid - Losing Patience

I painted a house today.

2006-09-15T11:03:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am absolutely nothing
The ears are feeding on The Globe - May We Live to See the Church Arise
The ears are feeding on M. Ward - To Go Home

Of course Apple cleverly decided to throw a bunch of iPods around like confetti.

Ad ridiculousness aside, I am desperately out of space on my little green, severely outdated, and fragile (it's been around for 1.5 years... a mean feat, considering how Meg's and Rach's broke like 10 times) iPod and I will dream of owning the boring white 30 gigs one.

It's a massive storm outside. I quite like it. Except dragging Scallywag's hefty cage was tedious. The rabbit is safe in the house now.

Right. Things I need to do very soon:

1. Feast on cupcakes with Jo at Palais Renaissance

2. Watch Bambi's mother die with Meg

3. Make myself at home in Rach's new home

4. See Skye. And Rory. And Ash/Zo. And Kayla/Tazzy.

---

4 days till The Parents arrive home. Safely.

7 days till Sandy moves out. She's been awesome; niftily beating me to all the chores.

2 months and 15 days till Rooby appears!!

2 months and a few days till I see Bonnie and Max (it's been too long).

2 months till I turn 18. We'll see if that pinata thing happens!

2006-09-13T10:45:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am shaved champagne ham
The ears are feeding on Anathallo - By Number

Why my feet are in a tremendous amount of pain.

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---

Last Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday, Whateverday

2006-09-11T14:36:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am roast beef and m&m's
The ears are feeding on The Blood Brothers - Peacock Skeleton With Crooked Feathers

An inventory.

2 new dresses
1 barren phone
2 parents in the Philippines
2903 messages sent on barren phone
5 keys on a keyring
6 bottles of shampoo*
6 tubes/bottles of facial cleansers*
3 exfoliators*
3 razors*
3 bottles of conditioner*
5 different types of soap*
12 episodes of Lost to watch

*in my bathroom

A list of things to do while my parents are away.

From: Mom
Subject: Don't forget to...
Date: 11 Sep 2006 AM 01:02:25
To: Ruth

put the hanoi pics on a disc.
top up the water in the flask and in the fridge.
clear the bins in the bathrooms and in the kitchen.
feed the rabbit.
pray for us!!!

Love you heaps,
mom

2006-09-06T17:00:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am a blueberry muffin
The ears are feeding on Norma Jean - Memphis Will Be Laid to Waste (Ruthcore is back!)

Does putting an anti-poverty banner on this site make it not ad-free? Hmmm. Technicalities will always plague my life. I'm in the church office right now, doing what I do best... Messing around on the computer. And really, this isn't all I do. Haha.

No pictures on this computer... Although I've got a few on Flickr from Monday. But anyway, I met Jo yesterday which was very very nice. Except she was an hour late. Which I can deal with; it only made me spend money on a book I didn't need (The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera). It isn't easy to read 12 books at one go... I might have picked up that awful habit from my Dad. So this is what I'm trying to get through, and an estimate of how long I've been attempting to read all of them:

1. Brick Lane - Monica Ali
Bought it in India 3 years ago. Am probably never going to finish reading it.
2. Survivor - Chuck Palahniuk
Bought it in May, started reading it 2 weeks ago.
3. Don't Eat This Book - Morgan Spurlock
Nathan's book... borrowed it in May. Started reading it in May. Still not done.
4. Captivating - John & Stasi Eldredge
My Mom's book, read it in April, didn't read the last chapter.)
5. Mere Christianity - C.S. Lewis
One of the best books I have read halfway. Started in March. Nowhere near the end.
6. The Problem of Pain - C.S. Lewis
Excellent book as well. Bought it in June, am only halfway through.
7. The Ragamuffin Gospel - Brennan Manning
Dad's book. So good. But I'm rereading it because I forgot where I stopped previously.
8. Searching For God Knows What - Donald Miller
Started reading it in June. Have the last chapter to finish.
9. The Virgin Suicides - Jeffrey Eugenides
Bought it in May. Read one chapter.
10. Know Why You Believe - Paul Little
Started reading it last December. Never finished it.
11. Every Young Woman's Battle - Shannon Ethridge
Interesting book that didn't quite pique my interest. Started reading it in February. Might never finish it.
12. Citizen Girl - Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus
Bought it last year. Didn't like it very much. But will attempt to finish reading it, just because.
13. The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera
Started reading it this morning. So far so good!
14. Finding Myself - Toby Litt
Bought it in April. Strange book, only read a few pages.

I think there are more lying around my room... So doing things halfway has worked its way into my reading habits as well. Fantastic.

And then there are the books that I managed to finish reading in the midst of all these unturned pages... Like that Beasts of No Nation one, and Blue Like Jazz. Those books affected me greatly. I still have Vernon God Little to read. And Biblical Psychology by some old dead man. And I want to buy Middlesex. I saw the Nausea book by Sartre yesterday and nearly bought that, but the first two pages were already too depressing. Gotta love existentialism.

Anyway, I went to Sony Ericsson to hand over my tragically white phone only to hear that EVERYTHING would be erased. Sentimentalism sucks. Jo went shopping after we had our chi-chi lunch and I met Kurt to watch The Devil Wears Prada (with the Snakes tickets). Useless is the only adjective I can think of to describe that movie... As the KurtSage said, "It's a chick flick." (Ooh... Long time no chick flick, come to think of it.) I guess we do watch a lot of crap movies. But they're usually so crap we laugh a lot. Unfortunately yesterday's movie wasn't. Although all the shoes made me itch in my heart. Kurt went home, I met Jo again, felt pregnant (fully psychological... it's the dress I wore) and sick from the lack of food. I saved my appetite for dinner. Which was AMAZING. Ate with The Parents and Sandy at Al Forno which was amazingamazingamazing. And then I went home and tickled the ivories. I think I can play 9 songs (albeit juvenile ones) so all is well!

Lemming is on my mind. No, I'm not mythically suicidal like Disney made out those critters to be. I want to watch that movie desperately. Hopefully it'll be better than any other movie I've seen lately. So far so bad, for fulfilling that whole wish of watching "better movies".

Okay, enough writing. I need to print out stuff and file about a thousand song sheets. Here are a few pictures I put up on Flickr from the past few days.

Kurt deleted this picture but HA this isn't HisSpace anymore!

Feigning genuine intellect.

These are not boat shoes

Yeah. We're happy.

After That Brilliant Dinner on Saturday night

Jeremy thinks he looks hot in this picture. Maybe literally.

2006-09-03T17:37:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am Skittles
The ears are feeding on the sound of wind. No, I'm not new age.

ruth is cool. her command of the english language impeccable. her understanding of all things goes deeper than most oil rigs, and she is as beautiful as an arabian princess.

---

Mike intended that to be condescending and patronising. I think it's funny.

Anyway, everything around me is slowly, but surely, falling apart. My air con stopped working a few days ago, my phone decided to end its existence this afternoon (suicidal technology), I am in no mood to study for an exam I have to write tomorrow, and there's a funeral to go to tonight. So yes, a chirpy week is ahead.

:-(

2006-09-01T12:25:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am a banana
The ears are feeding on Silver Jews - Sometimes a Pony Gets Depressed

DIE, GECKOS, DIE

I HATE EVERY SINGLE WIGGLY GREY/BROWN/
SMALL/BIG/TRANSLUCENT ONE OF YOU

YOU AND YOUR BLACK BEADY EYES

I HOPE YOU BURN IN REPTILIAN HELL

2006-08-31T11:57:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am Cinnamon Toast Crunch
The ears are feeding on Of Montreal - Forecast Fascist Future

Something about nothing in particular... but maybe something.

Tee hee. I don't feel like putting up any pictures. And considering how I haven't got any pictures near me right now in the happy plastic world of computers, it's impossible anyway. It's bleak and black and rainy outside and I actually like it. I know I said the other day that overcast isn't my thing because I like blue and chirpy skies, but it's true that it isn't hot when it's overcast. It's always too hot and humid here.

I miss writing irrelevant entries so that's what I'm going to do for a while. I'll give the mouse a break (a lot of clicking has to be done when I upload pictures, you know).

Nothing exciting has happened today. It's only 11:58 am. I woke up at 8:15 and immediately checked that there weren't any dead geckos in the bathroom. Yesterday was quite a scene in my empty house when I found the baby one stuck to the floor. Oh I know something exciting! Besides talking to Val about a few rather pertinent issues in this vast hollow we know as life, I can play some Gregor Samsa song. THERE IS HOPE YET!! I know I gave up on the guitar. And the bass, after... one night. I need to stick with things. I mean, I stick with people. But things... I am a fickle pickle. Anyway, the piano and I have rekindled our love for each other. Even the pedal has stopped its useless squeaking, which always freaked Scallywag out.

Ooh! This just appeared in the inbox:

WANT TO IMPROVE YOUR SINGING SKILLS?

Want to increase your vocal range? Ever wondered why you can't sing in pitch?

Singing success? Who on earth is that man?

He seems a little bit creepy, in that picture. Brett Manning, whoever you are, I hope you like your life. Hmmm... he's going to be teaching at some place near my house, apparently. Fancy. I might scream if I saw him on the street. And not scream in an excited way, maybe in a creeped out way.

And it isn't true that I find everyone creepy. I do not! Just that man next door. And men who appear out of the shadows. And old leering European men in Phuket. Though the latter is a given.

Dinner with brave gecko-picking-Sandy at some hawker will be my Thursday life, because:

---Meg and Jeremy will skip along the streets finding a pretty scrapbook for fond memories,
---Rachel has Physics again,
---Kurt has classes and is doing goodness-knows-what, and
---I have no other friends that are not in school and have school-related things to do.

I quite like this whole melodramatic thing, telling the world that I have no other friends, when really, I do. That technically makes me a liar, but in order to be melodramatic about things, you have to not tell the truth and exaggerate unnecessarily and tragically.

This may be my fluffiest and substanceless (and not in the drugged way) post yet, but that's because I am a creature of shallow depth HAR HAR har... The tricky thing about a public journal sort of thing (you can tell I'm avoiding the dreaded b-word) is that I can't really tell you what I've been thinking about without everything pointing to certain things and then I'll be found out. Gasp.

In my aspiration to be artsy and eco-caring, it will be nice to go to the Biennale thing. I'm confusing myself in my head now because my thoughts hardly ever make sense without careful explanation, and I'm thinking of how it is easy to associate myself with anything art-related but at the same time dissociate myself from it circumstancially and socially. There are pompous art snoots here. There are pompous art snoots everywhere, but Singapore is such a tiny country it makes me wonder what got stuck up their butts to make them think that they're better than everyone else who doesn't look like them (they're all clones) or have apparent "sensibilities" like them. Perhaps I have no business talking about stuff like that, but you sense it nonetheless just being near them. The Untouchables of a different caliber, eh? Anyway, socially ties in with circumstancially, because a community is the backbone of art appreciation. It's a bit hard to appreciate it alone. Art without recognition... Commercialism tends to kill it, I like DIY ethics to a certain extent... Crap, I'm not making any sense. It's like this paragraph came out of nowhere. I mean, it did. Literally. AJKSfhsnmsfdakjg never mind.

Heyyy... Of Montreal can read my mind! I just hope no one is stupid enough to listen to their lyrics and take heed. (It is true after all, that some people can't tell the difference between honest sarcasm and literal intention.)

Art Snob Solutions

What's up directors? Grab your knives!
It's time to take all all of the lives
Of the people who cannot see the somnolent genius of Tarkovsky

Come on authors grab your guns!
It's time to murder everyone who has never heard of Apollinaire
Send them all to hell it's only fair

Cast them all into the flames if they don't know any names
Of the principles of Arte Povera
Or are unfamiliar with le serpent mascara
That's right mascara snake!

Come on painters alive or dead
Give all the cretins a boot to the head
If they don't extol convincingly
Tempered Elan era Kandinsky

Throw them all into a well if they cannot tell
An Arto Parv feast of repitition from a Schoenburg 12 tone composition

Come on artists the day is here
And your mission is very clear
Put an end to the bourgeoisie
And death to everyone who's never heard of me

I think I'm satisfied with this entry about nothing much in particular. Goodbye.

Oh, alright. Here is a reprisal post of the last one I did on MySpace.

2006-08-30T11:57:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am nothing :-(
The ears are feeding on The Mars Volta - Meccamputechture

Sorry kids, it's just words today. No time for visuals.

The past few weeks have been contemplative and fun and busy and boring and normal and abnormal and bad and good.

Snakes on a Plane wasn't as brilliant as I'd hoped it'd be. Know that I say brilliant with zero sincerity. Half the time I was being laughed at because I was so grossed out. Those snakes were perverts. And Cathay went all out to pacify us when the movie didn't work on Saturday night. (Not that we minded, we got to sit in nice squishy seats for 50 minutes.) So we got a free movie, and free popcorn, and free Coke. I hate Coke. But I drank it because I was thirsty and it was free. See how corporations manage to kill you at every chance they get? I was also very impressed with Jonas' and Val's dancing skills. Although they nearly killed a lot of people, myself included.

The parents are in Hanoi this week. I slept in their room last night since my stupid air con is screwed up again. I miss my Mom's shuffling (really loud bedroom slippers) and sniffling in the morning. That sounds kinda weird, I know. But that's always what I hear when I wake up (thanks to her sinusitis). And I miss my Dad's bad jokes and sad little glances at me when I make bad jokes about him.

Don't worry. I have a healthy relationship with my parents.

I got ripped off at Subway on Monday night. I got a chocolate chip cookie with M&M's and to my horror, a lurid fluorescent turqoise shell stared at me instead, when I took a bite. FRIGGIN SMARTIES. I hate Smarties. Maybe, if like Kurt, I was spoiled by my Mom with excessively delicious cookies (cakes are more her thing), I wouldn't have been subject to such a blatant lie of a phantom chocolate. Also, the Famous Amos cookies Rach brought over yesterday were stale. Not her fault. I blame the Wally Amos corporation. I suppose I'm feeling a little bitter about my unfortunate cookie incidents so early in the week.

I haven't really got anything deep enough to say without going into too many details. As Meg and Nick like to chirp, besides Neon!-neon!-neeeeeeon!... "LIFE! EMBRACE IT!!" Well, I'm trying.

Anyway, I like details (frou frou album included) but I haven't got time for them right now, because I need to be fed. I think I'll put up long lost pictures from Thailand when I have the time.

2006-08-15T16:25:00.000+08:00

The eyes are feasting on C.S. Lewis - The Problem of Pain
The ears are feeding on +/- - I've Been Lost

"The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration."

There we go. One of the rare quotes of "inspiration" that I will put up on this site. I've seen in a week the amount of people I'd normally see in a month. I'm tired. Not tired of people per se, but it does take a lot of effort to talk sometimes. People have left, some people are still around, a bunch of people just returned, and more people will eventually leave.

Anyway, the byproduct of excessive socialising is pictures. Many pictures I have, and many pictures I will give you.

(Oh no. I think I'm going to cry. I posted a lot of pictures and Blogger screwed up on me and erased everything. I hate the Internet. I'll get over it. But for now, screw you, Internet.)

Sunday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

2006-08-07T00:54:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am shepherd's pie
The ears are feeding on People In Planes - Scratch to Void

I can't remember the word of the day... But I remember that it was a good one. Here is yesterday's camera party crew (though Val might be excluded... she doesn't own one, ewww).

2006-07-30T19:05:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am chicken rice
The ears are feeding on Ahleuchatistas - Cracked Teeth

!!! A HUNDRED PICTURES !!! (I'm sorry if your internet jams up...)

Busy, busy, dreadfully busy
More than a bumblebee, more than an ant
Busy, busy, horribly busy
Much, much too busy for you

I do not possess such great poetic prowess, I merely possess awfully unnecessary memory skills. Thanks, Archibald (of Veggie Tales notoriety). It's still been fairly busy on this end, I think we watched a movie last week, there was some gig on Friday which had a crap band and a good band and Mar sat outside with Mel the entire time, Meg and I got told off by a cranky old lady for sitting in the middle of the path leading to the beach, watched Stepford Wives which was so bizarre, and I had a $5 green gingerbread dinosaur for breakfast (it used to be $4). People are coming back this week so yay, I want to be slothful around the house and mooch around Orchard and the surrounding areas for the next 6 months but ALAS!, my conscience and responsibilities do not allow me to do so. I am very fond of long sentences.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-aye.

Sandy (formerly from South Africa/Hong Kong/Mongolia) is here now, Candice is arriving on Tuesday and will live in my room for four days, people, people, everywhere from everywhere, people people people, anywhere? (Check my closet.) Also, Michael Bouwer has been emotional lately, and here is the usual psuedo-angst-ridden reason why:

It has been nearly a month since my last entry. I will try to be more reliable in the future... For this entry, I would like to rant about females. I don't like them. Well, you see the problem is I do like them, but I don't want to. So there is this continual conflict of interests within me. You see, females are just so much effort. It can be like having two moms sometimes!! But then you meet a woman like Skye Pengelly or Ruth Png (No vowels? What the hell kind of a surname has no vowels? Oh wait, is your surname Png? I seem to have forgotten....) and you start to think "Hey, maybe they aren't all bad...." And the cycle begins again.... Women, you gotta love them. Or do you?

I love most people.

Oh. Dinner at the beach, huzzah. Pictures after 8:30 pm.

---

Well. It's 10:58 now. I had a baby sheep for dinner and Sandy ate a big fish.

www.jajah.com has a stupid name but is awesome. I talked to Mike for all of 15 minutes and 52 seconds for free, Rooby called a week ago and I suppose it was free too... I guess we'll see when the phone bill arrives.

Okay. It's been too long. PICTURES!! (And in no apparent order.)

2006-07-18T20:56:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am really delicious sushi
The ears are feeding on Gomez - Rie's Wagon

So those photos never got posted, and I have been incredibly busy. I am tired. Exhausted to the very core of my being, right down to each strand of DNA within me. A LOT has been going on around here, we've said bye to the church office which has a lot of memories (I'm sounding 80 already) but we've got an awesome new place and I'm particularly worn out from packing and moving and unpacking and little stress-clash sessions with the Mom and Dad.

Anyway, I'm going to archive every other post and just put one up at a time, since I've always got heaps of photos to post and it jams people's pomcuters. Computers.

Ah, I know what I'll do. Quick recap of some of what has happened, in no particular order, since the last time I wrote. Which was... Not months ago, but it sure feels like it.

1. Mormons are our new neighbours - church premises moved!
2. Had lots and lots and lots of meetings
3. Italy won (yay!), even though that is SO last week
4. Tim left
5. Gabe left
6. Baybeats, which quite sucked - not a surprise
7. Dawn passed away, which was a complete shock to everyone
8. Bought too many cds - old habits die hard
9. Shopped with the Mom
10. Watched Superman Returns - bleaugh
11. Sent in ITCC assignment and actually did well. Hurrah
12. 3 Aussie guys invaded the house last night
13. Nearly got run over one time too many
14. Had dinner with The Xiaos
15. Preached
16. Met Abby
17. Met Sarah
18. Hung out with Tim after All These Years
19. Had a French lunch with Gabe and the Grandma
20. Rooby wrote and sent a new song in the past hour

Had to round it off at 20. Just because. Oh and before I put up the 5787 pictures, Rach Tea says "Hi!" to everyone, and "Merry Christmas!!" ...Just because.

So here are the not-too-eagerly anticipated pictures of people and other random entities, in absolutely no order at all, because I'm feeling rather chaotic and shall reflect it in the images to come.

CHECK BACK SOON. I promise, soon. Mom needs the computer, which is why I am seriously considering pledging my liver for sickly cancer patients in order to buy myself a MacBook (black or white?).

2006-06-27T17:48:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am an Australian mango
The ears are feeding on Gomez - Get Myself Arrested

Hello, kids. Here are the long overdue pictures from just a week ago! But really. I got lazy. So I should probably write a bit more instead of reiterating my blatant laziness...

Meg stayed over and we watched Dukes of Hazzard last night. It was, like I just wrote to Skye in an email, a pitiful excuse for Johnny Knoxville to bang up cars, Jessica Simpson to not wear much, and Willie Nelson to sing.

Speaking of absolute legends, Chuck Norris appeared on Yes Dear just now. They semi-mocked him the entire show, and I ended up feeling an ounce of pity for the poor Walker, Texas Ranger old man.

Anyway. I haven't got much time because we've got dinner with Uncle Kendall at 7:30 and I still need to clean my room. So much for the poor lamb that's roasting in the oven now, we'll just have to eat it cold the next few days, but my plan to eat somewhere nice is going to happen! (And maybe I'll be able to pop upstairs to get me those Mezza9 cookies I was talking about this morning. Mmmm.)

MORE! PHOTOS! COMING! SOON! Like... tomorrow. Or a week.

2006-06-21T21:32:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am Baskin Robbins' Twinberry Cheesecake ice cream
The ears are feeding on The Agony Scene - We Burn Our Dead at Dawn

With all my might, I completely dislike OSIM. Besides their constant use of "i" in front of every product's name - which means they are shamelessly riding on the fairly marketable Mac prefix - the stupid massage chair nearly killed me. I suppose it's a good thing I'm still alive, but I will now render the reasons why I hate OSIM so.

1. The massaging chair (probably iSomething) almost shot me out of my seat into the vast expanse of a gaggle of Aussies checking out the uZap gadget
2. iSqueez tried to chew and swallow my feet
3. iSqueez pinched my calves
4. iVibe emitted too much heat on my elbow and made it feel awkward
5. iGallop ads are of immense sexual innuendo proportions, so much so it isn't funny anymore, and I have heard some debatable stories about salesmen who "sell" that machine.
6. uZap made Skye and me itch for reasons the sales lady could not offer
7. I couldn't stop cracking up everytime the sales lady person woman tried to show me another product which made her feel uncomfortable - I HATE making people feel uncomfortable. She looked at me with cautious eyes (I was hooting) and said, "Miss, you are the first customer of mine to laugh like that. Laugh so much. First one."

Okay, so that deep-rooted hatred doesn't really have any factually justifiable reasons behind it, although I could have been the first death-by-OSIM victim. I like that I am entitled to my own ridiculous opinions.

Anyway, on to more exciting news - if I do end up going to SA again this September, Asha will be there! YAY!! So we both have to go. There is no other option. We reminisced about Jordy and the other deGersigny kids and us on the trampoline playing stupid truth or dare a year ago. Secrets were revealed! Truth was spoken! Dares were created! I think we made Zoe lick the trampoline. And Tannah had to eat a leaf or something like that. Kaylen nearly got squished. Ah, juvenile fun.

I'm enjoying this whole aspect of having friends who live in all these strange places and us meeting up in some other random country. It's happened a bunch of times, and it's fun. Sucks that I hardly get to see most of them, but it's lots and lots of fun when I do. :-)

This weekend was nice, I have been really busy but I've been having a healthy dose of fun as well (I can't believe I just referred to fun as a "healthy dose"... I sound like an old hag who eats mushrooms raw.)

2006-06-21T12:06:00.000+08:00

The ears are feeding on WHAT?

בן של הגדול אני

2006-06-10T10:18:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am chocolate Pocky
The ears are feeding on Calibretto 13 - Cruisin' the Strip

Blogger is lying to you. It's Sunday now, the 11th day of the 6th month of the 2006th year this world has known ever since Anno Domini. Mosquitoes are attacking my feet. Mosquitoes are SICK.

People from Nepal and the Philippines just left my house. I staked out in my room just now because I was feeling crabby and anti-social. There is definitely something wrong with me. A bit of my voice is back though! I was worried about the lack of communication on my part, which some people might prefer, but there is no stopping me when I have something to say...

...Especially when I willingly handed over $9.50 to inflict severe torture upon my soul and mind and eyes to watch Amanda Bynes make out with an ugly guy (though Rach believes that adjective "ugly" is debatable) in the first minute of She's The Man. Even the name says it all, what the crap was I thinking? I blame it on fatigue (affects how you think) and peer pressure (which I rarely succumb to, save for my mentally weak moments when I am fatigued).

I know what you're thinking. Excuses, excuses, Ruth secretly likes genderbending movies that gloriously overstereotype stereotypes within genders and have a lot of preteen-like whinages/making out and Nickelodeon overacting and no one dies.

Well, you're wrong. Going to check out the Picture House on Tuesday with Mar. We are going to watch U-Carmen eKhayelitsha and there's a big probability some people will DIE and not one self-respecting girl in that black township would be stupid enough to pretend to be her twin brother just because of soccer (and look a lot like Will Ferrell while at it). The only, I stress, only thing that made that movie that much more bearable other than the comfortable seats, was the presence of Tobias. Whatever his real name is.

Also, the World Cup has been decent. Nothing too spectacular has happened. Yet.

Anyway. Lots and lots of pictures that I will attempt to categorize, which will be an absolute mission but I know I can do it because I am not patience-inept.

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Liz's "surprise" farewell party

Graduation

GTT (geographical training time)

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Here's what I wrote yesterday:

If you are what you eat, I am strawberry cheesecake
The ears are feeding on The Shins - Know Your Onion!

I lost my ability to communicate coherently. My wretched voice has failed me. My heart is broken because I can't talk. And it's weird - I can't cough, my throat isn't sore, but when I "talk" it's pretty much just me wheezing like that annoying kid from Malcolm in the Middle.

This week was intensive stuff, I filled up the memory card in my camera, and God spoke to me, and I met Skye who is rather awesome, and realized Bonnie and I are pretty much doing the same stuff, and I sang in 5 days about how much I'd sing in more than one month. I am completely exhausted. But thankfully not grouchy. At least I think so.

Why do my parents keep trying to talk to me when they know I can't talk? Now they will think I am being defiant and rebellious to the very core of the pastor's kid stereotype. :-) Hi Mom. I'm sorry if I just ignored you. I CAN'T TALK. IT HURTS.

2006-05-28T16:04:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am curry
The ears are feeding on Grandaddy - Elevate Myself

I watched X-Men with 12 other people on Friday. Watching a movie with that many people always results in the loss or inequitable gain of money. Someone gained the two dollars I lost (probably That Guy who didn't pay for his movie and got away with it), but in the wonderful vein of financial justice and having a very kind God my dinner was paid for that night. So life is good, not because I had a free dinner, but just because it's a lot more fun not being miserable over life, and I can't think of anything to be miserable about, anyway (Ecclesiastes has some good stuff to say.) Also, Liz and Josh came along for dinner that night, which was fun. I think we made the people in the back of the bus quite uncomfortable with the kind of stuff we talked about. And Austin and Pete met us a little bit later.

That paragraph seems quite hard to read, or maybe it's just me. I tend to not make sense when there are a thousand other things that I want to talk about as well.

I am not the sort to critique movies, simply because biting movie reviews are not my forte. I can argue with movies though. Meg had to sit next to me for the Da Vinci Code. She'd know. So anyway, here's my take on X-Men, considering the last few movies I saw were significantly worse:

X-Men < V for Vendetta < 16 Blocks|Mission Impossible:3 < The Producers < The Da Vinci Code < The Sentinel < n other mediocre movies I've seen in the past < Final Destination 3

The List isn't doing too bad, I tried bass yesterday and I have a ridiculously long road ahead to trek on, but what the heck. It should be fun. And I learned some basic sound stuff, like What Those Buttons and Switches and Plugs on That Mixer Actually Do. I am also currently back on the noble path of education. :-)

Interesting... Bizarre lyrics people bothered to infer into.

I also observed people yesterday on my way to meet Meg and Rach (Kill Rage!). Singapore is probably top on the list of nations with the most permanently-pissed-off-looking people, and I'm not surprised.

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Standard photos

Messing around with shutter speed and flash

The sky was blue

Josh's face, Pete, Austin

Clockwise: Pete, King Kong, T-Rex, Austin, otherpeople, Liz, Meg, Nick

Segregation. Austin and Pete to my right...

...and Isaku and Jeanne to my left

Austin and Pete loving the X-Men

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Coloured people (gasp)

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Photos from Saturday

4 of us turned up for practice.

I'm sure the concrete has seen better days

Mixer fun!

More mixer fun!

Even more mixer fun!

Chairs and people

Chairs

2006-05-18T18:05:00.000+08:00

If you are what you eat, I am roast chicken
The ears are feeding on Bunky - Chuy

Photos. It's been a while. (I tend to say that a lot; I should do something about that.) (I say that a lot, too. Drats.)

Anyway.

BEWARE THE CHEESE AND DAZZLING TEETH!

Meg and me before Nathan and Ansell and Balaji and Kurt came to get us.
Well... It was pretty much just Nathan picking up Meg.

Val in the background. Me and Janet/Jeanine/Jeanne! (Poor girl has too many names.)

Oh, the HAIR.

Sanna, Lauren, Christina

The sneaky they'll-never-know-I-took-a-photo-of-them photo. Val and Hans. Gingey.

Megsy and Nat han

Megsy and Nat han dancing... With demon eyezzz

The Narth and The Ruth. The Eyebrow and The Nostrils.

Josh and me. (People make good backgrounds. Meg way behind and Kurt in the corner.)

Oh chortle, photographing the photographer. And Chelsea.

Me and The Kurt. Demon eyezzz.

Kiyoooko and me

If smiling doesn't work... (Meg. She makes a good background.)

Weird faces will do.

Tim the absolute punk and me again. Pink shirt?

Me and Mimi. Memimi.

Megsy and Roaf! Tee hee, hee tee tee tee hee hee hee...

Larry/David/Lavidarry and me. (Oh, and Meg in the background again.)

Lauren and me... lots of teeth. Not such a great photo.

Josh trying to lick Isaku, Lavidarry looking weird

Phillip, Josh, Lavidarry

People, and lots of glasses.

Hannah & Timothy, Anna & Paul

There we go. Didn't take as many photos as I thought I would. We stayed out till 2:00 am. Not such a great idea, since I slept most of the time, but 'twas funnish. And I can't understand why us females are willing to lengthen our legs by putting ourselves through such immense torture - high heels. People are such oddities.